R.S.D - the bruise we poke

Some wounds don’t show. They live quietly under the skin — tender, waiting to ache again. Rejection sensitivity is one of those invisible bruises. It doesn’t bleed, but it throbs.

You might seem fine on the outside, but inside, one small moment with friends and partners — a short reply, a sigh, a shift in tone — can zero in right on that bruise! Suddenly, you’re flooded with shame or fear. That’s what rejection sensitivity feels like: a deep, hidden ache that flares up when life brushes against old pain.

When the Bruise Gets Pressed

‘Oh, you’re too sensitive!’

Rejection sensitivity isn’t being “too sensitive.” It’s what happens when an emotional bruise won’t heal. A friend forgets to text back and your stomach drops. Your partner seems distant, and your brain fills with stories: I did something wrong. I’ll lose them. I look stupid. Deep fear and criticism.

It’s not overreaction — it’s protection. Your body remembers what rejection felt like before and tries to guard you from it again. Just like pressing on a real bruise, even light contact hurts (and sometimes we press our own bruises to check them).

Why It Hurts So Much

That tenderness often starts early — from criticism, inconsistency, or love that felt conditional. For many with ADHD, rejection sensitivity ties to emotional regulation. Feelings don’t trickle in; they hit like a tsunami!

You may find yourself replaying conversations, apologising too much, or avoiding people altogether. The goal isn’t to toughen up — it’s to heal, gently.

How to Care for the Bruise

When we have a real bruise, we can’t think it out of existence - we rest it and acknowledge it. Move carefully, emotional bruises need that same compassion.

Name it.

When you feel the ache, pause and say, This is rejection sensitivity. I’m not in danger — I’m just tender right now.

Be kind to yourself.

You wouldn’t blame your skin for bruising. Don’t blame your body for feeling or trying to protect you. Your depth of emotion is not a flaw; it’s proof of how deeply you care.

Give it space.

Before reacting — before sending that long message or shutting down — breathe. The intensity will pass. Then you can respond with clarity, not panic. Let your trusted people know you haven’t just gone silent, that if it happens you will return. The shame and pressure of RSD putting you on the spot and needing to reply immediately needs to be relieved.

Find gentleness.

Spend time with people who don’t press on your pain. Let them know what rejection sensitivity feels like for you. True connection helps bruises heal. Safe people will respect this - expect this from them.

Healing Takes Time

Bruises fade, but they don’t disappear overnight. Over time, you’ll still feel the ache when rejection brushes past — but it won’t consume you. You’ll notice it, breathe through it, and remember you’re safe.

This is healing from rejection sensitivity: not erasing the feeling, but softening your response to it.

Your sensitivity isn’t something to fix. It’s part of your strength — a sign that you’ve loved deeply and are still willing to try again.

You don’t need to harden to be strong. You just need to hold yourself gently when it hurts and train those around you to be patient.